Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby, It’s No Longer Taboo
Remember that song that came out in the 90s?
“Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things and all the bad things, that may be. Let’s talk about sex.”
Salt-n-Pepa were like evangelists with their song encouraging us to talk about sex. We’ve come a long way (ummmm the 90’s were 30 years ago!) since even mentioning sex was forbidden. But it wasn’t really that long ago that we had to bite our tongue on any matter relating to the bedroom.
In recent years there has even been talk about closing the “orgasm gap,” the difference in the number of men and women that orgasm during intercourse. There’s also been more scientific research on how female sexuality works. And, thank goodness, a general openness to discuss intimacy.
The Sexual Dark Ages
Growing up in the 1970s and 80s (and particularly before), sex was a forbidden topic whispered about in hushed tones behind closed doors. Hell, even talking about our periods, a totally natural, biological, bodily function (that half of the population experiences), was a no-no. Flashback to the Newlywed Show, a show with married couples couldn’t even say the word “sex.” The host, Bob Eubanks, called it “making whoopee.” Ok that’s kinda cute, but not being able to say “sex” with married couples is absurd.
Recently, we’ve managed to shrug off many of society’s taboos around sex and female reproductive health. It doesn’t have to be so hush-hush and spoken of behind giggles or under whispered breath.
How did we get here? It’s a few things really…
The Rise of Sexual Wellness
Modern medicine and research has legitimized and backed up what we already know– sex has so many health benefits! Lowered blood pressure, better heart health, improved sleep, decreased feelings of anxiety and depression, and increased intimacy are just a few of the benefits of getting it on. Intimacy and feelings of connection are healthy, and often markers of a happy relationship, both of which can be gained through sex.
With the rise of sexual wellness, birth control is more widely available. Women have so many more options for birth control than they did when the pill was first introduced. Even better, birth control has become more effective since the 1990s. There is also more education on the prevention and treatment of STIs.
Drugs like Viagra make it possible for men to continue to have sex into their later years (thank you, Pfizer). Also, treatments for menopause symptoms has come a long way too (hint hint: If you’re looking for a reputable source on menopause symptoms and hormonal changes, look no further than resident Beloved Medical Advisor, Dr. Brooke Leverone who recently talked about the benefits of the moisturizing and lubricating qualities of our Serum.) Estrogen is the hormone that maintains the health of our reproductive tissues and medicine has found ways to keep hormone levels from dropping off prematurely.
The fact of the matter is that sex isn’t only for procreation or hedonistic frivolity, it’s a matter of health.
Thank You to the Younger Gens
We can thank millennials and Gen Z for being more open to talking about sex. Our children are actually teaching us and showing that it’s ok to talk about totally normal human things! Normalizing the issues that come up with getting it on creates an open dialogue around the topic.
Women are Younger than Ever
Medicine, healthcare, and technology have come a long way. We know more about what happens to the body as we age and how to live “younger” for longer. We’re willing to invest in youth and wellness. Think about this: women in their 50s and 60s now are the first generation of women to grow up with Botox since its approval by the FDA in 2002. No woman in the ‘80s could have ever imagined that we could get a shot (well, a couple) and get rid of wrinkles in just a few days.
There are celebrity role models showing us that it’s possible to age gracefully. Jennifer Aniston, Demi Moore, and Jennifer Lopez are all fantastic examples of how the right care can keep you looking and feeling younger for longer. 50 is the new 40!
No Shame in Sex Toys
Just like millennials and Gen Z, we can thank sex toy designers for bringing sex toys into regular conversation and break the stigma. Lelo, Womanizer and Dame have come out with elegant, classy toys that don’t feel lewd or immature. Finally, sex toys aren’t treated as a joke, but as a tool to help explore a normal part of your body and make a perfectly natural and normal activity, more pleasurable.
Mainstream Stores Carry Sexual Wellness
You no longer have to send your husband to the seedy adult bookstore in that sketchy neighborhood by the airport. Big brand stores like Nordstrom, Target, and Saks Fifth Avenue sell sexual wellness products (psst: get our Serum at Saks!) just like they would sell lingerie or skincare tools. Investing in your sexual health is investing in your overall health.
In fact, the sexual wellness market is the fastest-growing segment in the wellness industry. In 2021 the sexual wellness market in the US hit was $33 billion dollars and is expected to hit 45 billion by 2026 (Source: Sexual Wellness Market - Global Outlook & Forecast 2021-2026).
A lot of this growth in the market can be attributed to the changing culture around how we view sex and the “new sexual culture devoid of the stigma attached to the concept of sex… is driving the changes in attitudes, and linking sexual wellness to lifestyle.”
Sex is a part of our health and lifestyle, and mainstream stores are recognizing that. All of this helps reduce the taboo-ness of it all.
Education, Education, Education.
There has been a boom in sex education. Part of this is due to the growing research around sex, particularly female sexuality. Did you know that the majority of sex research was based on and around men? Ok, sister, you’re not surprised either, but that is changing.
Through the boom of podcasts, Ted Talks, social media, classes, retreats, therapists, and books (we’ve even got a reading list on The 5 Best Books to Transform Your Sex Life), we are learning more about sexuality both as how it serves our mental and emotional wellbeing but also learning about the anatomical and biological factors.
In the past, sex education was either nonexistent or only focused on its relation to pregnancy. In other words… abstinence. Education normalizes the previously verboten.
It Feels Good to Feel Good
So much of the stigma that has surrounded sex makes us forget the fact that beyond the very basic function of reproduction, it just feels damn good. Sex can be a form of self-care and serve so many functions. By exploring our likes, dislikes, and desires we learn more about how to better nurture ourselves when we are feeling burnt out.
Our Advisor Dr. Megan Flemming, sex educator and psychologist says, “I think that we’re not slowing down enough to see the importance and value of pleasure and sexuality in terms of our own aliveness and the importance for nurturing this both for ourselves, because the more we know about what turns us on, the more we can communicate to our partners, as well as for the health of our relationships”.
Investing in our own pleasure allows us to show up in our relationships more. As we tune into what pleasure really means and feels like in our bodies, we might just start to feel a little more comfortable with ourselves, and a little more comfortable talking about sex. And hey, you deserve to feel good, right?
The taboo and prohibition around talking about sex is fading away more quickly by the day and we could not support that more.