How to Choose the Best Lube for Women
Buying a new pair of jet-black Jimmy Choo heels is sexy as hell. As is shopping for a convertible sports car with all the high-end features (Audi TT or Porsche 911, please). But the process of comparing and buying lube can feel anything but sexy. Most times it's embarrassing and downright seedy.
Plus lube isn’t something that you really think about until you need it. For most of us, we start needing lube when our lady parts aren’t producing as much moisture as they have in the past. Typically this starts sometime in our 40’s when our estrogen levels start to drop thanks to perimenopause.
Not all lube is created equal. Just like with all products, there are many differences in different brands of lube. Some are good for your body and some are highly irritating and even downright dangerous (yes, dangerous).
So while you may not have thought all that much about the different types of lubes yet, you’ll see why it’s really important to have this knowledge so that you can choose one that’s safe and best for you. We’ve broken it all down here for you here.
Where Do You Shop for Lube?
Do you have to go to that dirty adult store on the edge of town where they carry lubes called Bust It Butter or Squirt It Joy Juice or worse (yes, there are actually more vulgar brands of lube)? Absolutely not.
How about Amazon where the #1 lube is called Lube Life and comes in a gigantic vat of a bottle that would take up half your nightstand? Yuck no.
Target where your choices are KY or Astroglide? No, thank you. You don’t need the shame of that coming across the conveyor belt with the Tide, toilet paper and the awkwardness of the 16-year-old cashier.
Luckily, buying high-quality lube has been made easier through online resources—Beloved included. We ship direct-to-you in discreet packaging so that you don’t have to feel embarrassed if anyone sees it or you can pick it up from one of our cherished retail partners.
3 Types
There are three major types of lubes determined by their base ingredient: water, silicone and oil.
The most important differentiator between the three is this:
Water-based lube most closely mimics a woman’s natural lubrication and is best for sensitive skin.
Vaginal skin is some of the most delicate tissue on every woman’s body and it becomes more sensitive as we get older and our hormones change. Because of this, it's best to have your lube be as close as possible to your natural lubrication.
That is why we chose a water-based formula (made of organic aloe) because it’s best for your body (and it works beautifully).
A healthy, happy vagina is a prerequisite to good sex. If your vagina is irritated or infected (and you know how miserable that is), there’s absolutely no sex of any kind happening. That’s why water-based lubes are so damn good for women’s bodies.
Be aware that silicone lube can be flammable. Yes, it could start on fire if exposed to a flame. Silicone lube will also stain your sheets and other clothing that it gets on.
The Best Lube for the Situation
Here are some specific, sexy use-cases and details on how water, silicone and oil-based lubes perform.
If you have vaginal intercourse: the majority of women start using lube for intercourse after we’ve experienced some dryness down there. Because water-based is most like natural lubrication, it’s fantastic for intercourse.
If you use sex toys: water-based lube is best if you use sex toys because it doesn’t make them deteriorate (silicone and oil-based lubes will). A good vibrator can easily be $200, so you don’t want to ruin it with your lubrication and have it decompose.
If you’re having sex in the shower, bath, hot tub, pool, ocean, lake, river (you get the point): silicone lube stays slick longer than water-based lube during sex in water. Water washes away water, but not the silicone.
However, this is what makes cleaning up from silicone such a hot mess. Silicone doesn’t easily wash off the skin (you have to get soap involved) and it stains every damn thing it touches—including your expensive sheets and your silk lingerie.
If you’re having sex for hours and hours and hours: silicone stays most slick, but water-based works well when reapplied every so often. Let’s be honest though, how often are you having intercourse for hours and hours? Water-based is probably sufficient.
Have you noticed that oil-based lube hasn’t been mentioned yet? That’s because it’s not really best for anything. It’s not good for intercourse because it can cause a build-up of bacteria which will cause an infection in your vagina. It can’t be used with sex toys because it causes deterioration and it stains all fabric it comes into contact with. It also can’t be used with condoms. Most oil-based lubes are made with coconut oil, but ones made with mineral oil, baby oil or petroleum oil/jelly should absolutely be avoided.
Bottom line: water-based is the most gentle and versatile lube. You can use it with your sex toys, it doesn’t stain fabric and easily wash off your body.
Ingredients Are Key
You would be surprised at how many cheap, yucky and downright harmful ingredients are used in lube. Just like you look for clean, quality ingredients in your facial skincare, look for them in your lube. After all, lube really is skincare for your delicate vaginal skin.
Choose a high-end lube that uses safe, quality ingredients—not one that’s a bargain price. We all love a good deal, but don’t risk your health to save a couple of dollars.
AVOID Glycerine: if you’ve ever had yeast infections or vaginal irrigation in the past, choose a glycerin-free lube. Glycerine is a sugar and can cause bacteria and yeast in the vagina to flourish, leading to yeast infections and urinary tract infections. Glycerine is most often used in water-based lubes.
AVOID Parabens (look for methylparaben and/or propylparaben): These are preservatives that can cause painful allergic reactions on sensitive tissues. They can irritate vaginal mucous membranes, contribute to genital rashes, and potentially cause fertility problems and endocrine disruption. They may also be linked to endocrine cancers like testicular, breast, and ovarian cancer.
AVOID Chlorhexidine Gluconate: this is a disinfectant chemical that can kill strains of lactobacillus, which is a bacteria that is necessary for your healthy vagina
AVOID Benzocaine, Benzene, Benzoic Acid, Propylene Glycol: these cause irritation and even allergic contact dermatitis.
AVOID Cyclomethicone, Cyclopentasiloxane and Cyclotetrasiloxan: these are found in silicone-based lubricants and are linked to reproductive harm and uterine cancer in animal studies.
AVOID Flavors, Fragrances and Stimulating: stay away from anything that includes flavor, fragrance, aroma, cooling, heating, or stimulating. These things are a mix of chemicals that can cause irritation and allergy. Flavored lubes contain sugar that can cause vaginal infections.
Note: make sure your lube is hypoallergenic. Hypoallergenic means that a particular product isn't likely to cause an allergic reaction. Its ingredients won’t cause the reaction and neither will its ingredients when combined together.
When we developed Beloved, we were obsessive about making sure it was good for your body and contained nothing that would harm or irritate it. Beloved is hypoallergenic and contains absolutely no estrogen, hormones, harsh chemicals, parabens, petrochemicals, phthalates, sulfates, silicone, glycerine, formaldehyde, mineral oils, soy, gluten, fragrances, artificial flavors or colors. It’s also not tested on animals.
pH Level
Make sure to consider the pH level of the lube. pH is a measure of acidity or alkalinity. The pH of a lubricant should be pH 3.8- 4.5 which is the vagina's natural pH.
Lubricants with pH above 4.5 will increase the risk of bacterial vaginosis. Yet, many commercially available lubricants have pH levels far exceeding 4.5. Beloved is pH balanced perfectly to match your body’s pH.
Safety Matters
The ingredients, how they interact together, the packaging and the manufacturing are all factors that determine if a lube is safe—or not.
Lube is regulated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) as a Class II medical device. Lube products are required to have FDA 510(k) approval before being manufactured and sold. It costs tens of thousands of dollars and months (even years) to get a lube approved by the FDA. They’re very rigorous down to the type of packaging that is used and specific content being on the packaging.
However, some companies cut corners and don't get FDA clearance. This is illegal. Some companies take a chance (and risk your health) by selling lubes that aren’t approved and hope that they won’t be caught by the FDA.
Be sure that any lube you buy has FDA approval and is manufactured in an FDA-approved facility.
How Does It Make You Feel?
We’ve gone over a lot of the important nuts and bolts of choosing and buying a lube, but there’s one more factor that matters: how does it make you feel?
No, not the actual viscosity and texture of the lube itself. But what emotions does it evoke when you buy it, see it, use it?
Does it make you feel like you’re a patient in a clinic with her feet up in stirrups (hello, KY Jelly)?
Does it make you feel cheap, trashy and shameful—like you can’t hide that ugly, embarrassing bottle in your nightstand any quicker?
Does it make you feel worried that it’s going to give you an infection or that it’s going to stain your 1000 thread count sheets?
OR...does it make you feel sensual, desired, adored? Does it make you feel like a classy, sexy minx that your man wants to ravage?
How you feel about your lube is just as important, if not more so, than how you feel when you spritz your favorite perfume on your neck or how you feel when you swipe your best red lipstick on your kisser.
Lube, after all, is part of foreplay so it should support you in that and help you feel as sexy as possible.